Saturday, May 31, 2008

When HIS name rings the loudest

Knock knock

“Can I come in?”

Ignorance.

Knock knock

“Can I come in?”

Indifference.

Knock knock

“Can I come in?”

Annoyance.

Knock knock

“Can I come in?”

FUCK OFF!

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“Please, knock on the door. O why hasn’t He knocked yet?”

Knock knock

“Can I come in?”

“FINALLY! Come in, O my God.”

Door opens and host embraces the Visitor, letting out all bottled up fury and rage and anxiety and uncertainty and emotions.

“Dear God, what have I done?”

The Visitor brings with his presence calm and peace and understanding.

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Few moments later, after the calm and peace have set in, the host phases the Visitor out, gradually but surely. However, the Visitor is a persistent one; as such the cycle repeats itself, again and again……

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AM I THE HOST? Only opening the door at a funeral, at a near brush with death, at times of trial and turmoil?

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The MIT Admission Essay resembled a one way ticket to success and glory. It also reflected a substantial chip of writer’s block and the rust of thoughts that further strengthened that block. Topic: Tell us about an experience which, at the time, really felt like "the end of the world" -- but had it not happened, you would not be who you are today. Describe the process through which you discovered value in the negative.

I found my true worth in that writing process, and how much could I have been sold off for? Barely a cent.

This man dropped tears, thinking how his mum could just die tomorrow without him having expressed his love for her, rightfully through his actions, daily.

The Visitor was sought out this once.

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The funeral of my old time (Officer-in-the-Boy’s-Brigade-Service)’s mother brought me back to earth ~ noch ein mal. What if that had been my mum? What if I am the one in white, accepting condolences? WHAT IF……….

The Visitor was let in through the door ~ noch ein mal.

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“I heard that JW is dead.” – ST, phone call

“WST was only 18 years old, and WST is not a believer, not yet.” – JW + deduction

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“I BELIEVE THAT HE’LL BE BACK REALLY SOON. IN 10 YEARS OR LESS…” – JW, PORT DICKSON BEACH, after the haircut

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When the possibility of my death is as real as my friend’s passing away; when He promises to come back, sooner than later; when my Mum still does not believe, and I often still shout at her, and she ages day after day, complaining about the pain here and there; the Visitor is let in and treated with utmost care and respect.

I am the host, just like a lot of everyone else. THANK GOD for the Visitor.

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Reference:

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*A re-read is recommended.*

2 comments:

Anonymous said...

what are you writing??

Chin Gian said...

* A re-read is recommended. :D